In this session, “Ep. 4: Behind the Rage – Men’s Mental Health & Anger,” experts explored the complex emotion of anger, particularly as it manifests in men. Deepa also highlighted Stir’s commitment to nurturing psychological safety in workplaces and fostering employee potential. Dr. Saurabh Patil, a keynote speaker and coach specializing in men’s mental health, joined host Vedant Naik to delve into this critical topic.

The discussion unpacked how anger often masks deeper, underlying emotions in men. They identified common masked feelings, including:

• Shame and guilt.
• Feelings of “not enough”—financially, for family, spouse, or kids—often exacerbated by social media comparisons.
• Performance anxiety and pressure to be the “breadwinner” or to have achieved enough.

The session clearly differentiated between healthy and toxic displays of anger:

• Toxic anger often involves suppressing emotions (sometimes learned from fathers), leading to explosions of anger that can manifest as throwing objects, verbal or physical abuse (contributing to domestic violence), and substance abuse.
• Healthy anger expression, on the other hand, involves calm communication, pausing before reacting, assertiveness without aggression, and the establishment of clear boundaries.

A significant challenge discussed was the difficulty men face in setting boundaries, particularly within the Indian societal context. Men often feel compelled to “prove something” and be “supermen” who say “yes” to everything, leading to mental and physical exhaustion. This societal norm, passed down through generations, often pressures men (especially elder sons) to prioritize family needs over their own passions and well-being, largely unquestioned.

The panelists strongly emphasized the importance of communication and community in fostering men’s mental health. They recommended:

• Prioritizing direct, face-to-face communication within relationships to identify signs of stress and bottled-up emotions, rather than relying solely on digital interactions.
• Encouraging self-care by creating safe spaces for men, such as through friendships, support groups, or mentorships, where they can express themselves freely.
• Normalizing therapy and group coaching for men.
• For individuals struggling with anger, initial steps include pausing before reacting, journaling, and using breathing exercises.
• For men caught between parents and spouses, balancing perspectives and finding common ground through effective communication is crucial.

Deepa Bhalerao concluded by noting that anger has often been an unrecognized “cry for help”, expressing gratitude that younger men are now bravely addressing these vital issues. 

Dr. Patil also shared details about his upcoming book, “Alchemy of Anger,” which focuses on transforming anger into positive change for men.

Explore Sthir’s DEIB solutions to co-create human-centered, inclusive cultures that prioritise psychological safety.